i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
