so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
