If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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