I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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