totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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