The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
