I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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