I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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