Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
