You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She's the barista slut.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
