We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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