We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
