hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
