so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
