I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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