I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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