I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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