I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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