if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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