I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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