I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
