dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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