This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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