FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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