my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
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just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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