i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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