Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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