Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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