I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
