we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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