She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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