She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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