Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
