I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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