3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
