The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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