Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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