Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
