and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.