Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?