He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck