i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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