i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
