those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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