Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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