My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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