He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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