shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
