we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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