He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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