It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
