I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
