the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
