he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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