The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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