Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
