My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
