I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
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I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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