i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
whose parrot is this?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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