You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
